We were made for Love...

My Christian Doctrine said something so profound today.  But it makes so much sense at the same time.  People think that since Jesus was fully God and fully man that He didn’t experience temptation to as strong of a degree as we do.  Or that he wasn’t even tempted because He was God and could not sin.  However, Jesus experienced tempation to a fuller degree than any human ever has.  He was tempted to the most extreme degree and NEVER sinned.  Dr. Morgan related to his Air Force experience.  I won’t describe this as accurately as he did because I don’t have much knowledge or any experiece with air craft, but I’ll do my best. He said that the planes he operated were usually at first set to 85% power for the engines because 100% would surpass the capability of the brakes to hold the aircraft’s wheels before takeoff.  He then said that even once 100% power was reached there were 4 more levels about that.  A special frictional pad was under the tires to help the aircraft stay in place.  Chains were even attached to keep it stationary.  To get to the main idea, he asked us “Do the chains that break at level 2 power understand the full power and force of the aircraft or the chains that experience level four and hold?”  It makes so much sense.  Jesus reached the ultimate level of tempation and didn’t sin.  He had the devil himself tempting him.  So in conclusion, Jesus gets it.  Don’t be afraid to go to him with your temptations and struggles.

Hebrews 2:18

English Standard Version (ESV)

For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted

Today I had way too much caffine before my Old Testament class.  I was sitting through class shaking and unable to sit still.  But my mind was very alert and perceptive.  I am so blessed to be learning from the professors at my university.  Not only does my professor teach the Old Testament, but he loves it.  He reads it.  He meditates on it. He applies it.  Everyday I leave the class with a new desire and longing to know God more.  Again, I’m one of the very lucky college students. 

Today I was reminded about the day I was asked by a family member how God can send ”good” people to hell?  At the time my answer was something like ”Well, God says that the only way to get into heaven is to believe in and accept Jesus.  It’s just the way it is.”

However, now I would say that there really is no good person.  We’re all born into sin.  We’re all inherently evil.  We are all self-serving and self abosrbed indiviuals.   Today I would say, “why would anyone want to spend eternity worshipping a God who they rejected and hated for an entire lifetime when all He wanted was to love them?”  Even if they did want to get into heaven at the end of their life it would be for a selfish reason: to escape hell.  Not because of the passion and love for God that lies within their hearts.  The reason would have nothing to do with God, but heaven has EVERYTHING to do with God.  God doesn’t send people to hell because He wants to watch them burn, he sends people to hell because they’ve chosen to not love Him.  They’ve chosen to live a life contrary to what he has for them.  So many times we ask the wrong questions.  We ask “Why does God send people to hell?” when we should be asking “Why do people reject the God who loves them and the opportunity to be with Him for eternity in Heaven?”  Before we ever reach the gates, the choice has already been made.  We make the choice by the way we live and what we choose to love: the world and ourselves or God. 

God has done so much to present Himself to His created people. God has revealed Himself enough through creation for us to recognize Him as Creator.  Through the created world and apparent order in nature, God is recognizable.

Pslam 19:1-2

 ¹ The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
² Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they reveal knowledge.

Romans 1:18-20

¹⁸ The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, ¹⁹ since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. ²⁰ For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.

Paul even goes so far as to say that “people are without excuse” for not believing in the creator because of His general revelation through creation.  Although their doctrine and theology have no real way of being formed through creation alone, God can be seen and accepted.  Humans are created with an internal longing for and knowledge of a higher power present.

For those of us who are already pursuing an intimate relationship with the Creator I offer this question.

What is more important-The presence of God or your plans? Are you in constant yearning to be united with the King in Heaven?

Philippians 3:8

What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ

I’m the first to admit my desire for a family and a career.  I’m the first to admit that I’ve often thought “Man, I hope the rapture waits until I can get married and have a family.”  I’m also the first to admit that sometimes during my Cardio Karate class I pray for the rapture just to get me out of the butt kicking work out.  But my prayer is that I’m willing to hand over all my plans, desires, and possessions at any time because of my burning desire to be with my Lord.  There’s a difference between being ready but unwilling to be with the Lord now, and desiring to be in His presence so passionately that you’d willingly go and leave EVERYTHING and EVERYONE behind at any given moment without a second thought. So what’s more important?

Reasons why I am stoked out of my mind for summer:

Getting tan

Sleeping in

Fresh watermelon slices

National Man Day

Fourth of July

Swimming

Float Trips

Barbeques

Volleyball

Picnics

Six Flags

Friends

Family

Shopping

Road Trips

NO SCHOOL

I was reading my textbook for class and came across this poem.  It was anonymously written, but discovered by Michael Green on the door of a chaplain’s office in a hospital in Africa

                                       Your Holiness and My Loneliness

I was hungry and you held meetings to discuss my hunger.

                    I was imprisoned and you crept off quietly to pray for my release

                I was persecuted and you explained to me how Christ was persecuted.

                   I was sick and you knelt down and thanked God for your health.

 I was homeless and you preached to me of the spiritual shelter of the love of God.

                           I was lonely and you left me alone to pray for me.

                              You seem so holy and I’m still very lonely.

I was driving home from work today and I turned on “People Get Ready” by Misty Edwards.  And as I was listening, I was thinking about Jesus returning. In the song there’s no denying Misty’s desire for Jesus to return, but I started thinking about if I had that same desire…that same intensity.

And I began to think of all the things I want to do before He returns.  A career, a husband, a family, traveling, etc.  Then I became incredibly repulsed by these thoughts.

How much more time have I spent preparing myself for my future career and my future life than for the return of my King?  How dare I spend more time preparing myself for and praying for my future husband than for the return of the Lover of my soul?  How dare I be more consumed with having a relationship with an imperfect person than a fulfilling relationship with Jesus?  How much more wonderful will it be to stand in the perfect holiness of Jesus than work a 9-5 job?  How completey twisted my priorities are. 

And if I’m seeking the Lord for my personal gain (possibly a relationship), He’s going to know that if He gives me that, I won’t seek anymore because I wasn’t seeking out of love for Him but selfish ambition. 

Then I began to think about when I have sought after the Lord.  Has it been sincere?  Have I desired and anticipated meeting Him?  The answer is not fully.  I love the Lord and spending time with Him.  But so often it’s out of guilt becuase I feel bad.  Or because it’s just what I’ve been told to do.  Or finally because I’m seeking the promised rewards.  Yes, there are promises connected to seeking God.  But that should NOT be my motivation. 

Misty Edwards is a worship leader at Internation House of Prayer in Kansas City, Missouri.  She’s single.  But she’s in love.  With God.  I am completely convinced that this woman has God’s phone number and calls Him up to sing love songs to Him and maybe get some inspiration from Him also.  You can hear the longing, love, desire, passion, and yearning in her voice.  She has her priorites straight.  Listen to her song “I Am Yours” just to see a kind of passion and love for the Lord that she has that I long to have.

Seek the Lord with a pure heart and pure motives.  Seek after Him out of love and desire to know and be intimate with Him.  He’s coming whether we are ready or not. People get ready.  Jesus is coming.

More than anything, anything in this whole entire wide big huge ginormous world, I want to make at least one orphan not an orphan anymore. 

Ever since I can remember I’ve wanted to adopt.  Yes, I do admit that the whole idea of pushing a watermellon out of my body isn’t appealing and neither is having everyone and their brother see all parts of me, but more than that I just want to give a kid a chance.  Let me tell you somethiing—once you’ve have a little kid sit on your lap and ask you if you’ll be their mommy, your heart will never, ever be the same.  And all you’ll want to do is say “Yes, I would absolutely love to be your mommy!” But instead you have to leave and make up some dumb excuse and basically reject a child’s request at love and happiness. It’s awesome (sarcasm). 

And you know what. When I tell some people that I want to adopt instead of having my own children, they look at me like I’m ridiculous and selfish and I’ve even gotten the response, “That’s awful!”  …really?  So giving a kid a permanent home with parents who love him and take care of him and offer him a future is awful?  Really?

Because honestly…if I had my own kids, they wouldn’t be any more deserving of love than that little orphan in Jamaica.  And the reasons that I want to have my OWN children are completely selfish.  1) excuse to get fat and eat whatever I want without being judged. 2)  Pregant ladies are just stinkin’ cute. Like for real. Those bellies are just great! 3) Attention. Let’s face it. You get pregnant and EVERYONE notices and pays special attention.  All of those reason are about me.  And maybe I just don’t understand the whole “this littler person is part me and part my husband and that’s just so special” thing.  But aren’t we all just God’s children.  And we’re just entrusted for a while with these little people. 

And even if I only adopt one child, it will never be enough.  Of course in the U.S. there are foster homes, but unfortunately, many of the foster parents are only interested in taking in the children for the financial gain that the government offers.  Consequently, many foster parents are not thinking about the good of the child.  So even though no one will probably read this, I hope if anyone does, it will stir their heart. 

Isaiah 1:17 says “Learn to do good.Seek justice.Help the oppressed.Defend the cause of orphans.Fight for the rights of widows.”

James 1:27 “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.”

Pure: clean, spotless, or unsullied

So go be pure and love the orphans. In whatever way you can.  They will love it and you. 

also…never type in orphanage on google images.  Hollywood is so ignorant.

http://www.adventures.org/reallife/- this is a website that has tons of amazing missions opportunites for college students.  Some are actually very reasonable and last about 2 months.  Check it out!

Sometimes you get your hopes up and you get them so high, that when they fall, they shatter.  But if you’re lucky, you have people to help you pick up your pieces and remind you of everything you do have.  No matter who has told you that you aren’t good enough, or that you don’t have what it takes, someone thinks you’re great the way you are.

And if you know my God, you know that He’s got something even better for you than that opportunity you thought so highly of.  So let those people pass you by and tell you that you’re not what they’re looking for.  Because someone will be smart enough to snatch you up and see all the great things you have to offer.

In the mean time, don’t beat yourself up about the opportunity that wasn’t for you.  You tried your best, you put yourself out there, and it’s their loss.  Look to God for the next opportunity and make the most of what you have right now right in front of you.

You know what?

First of all…I don’t know what I’m doing with this “tumblr” business.

Secondly, I really want a different font but either I’m challenged, or that just isn’t an option here.  I’ll just go bold.

I’m sitting here in my dorm room watching the live stream of the Prayer Room (ihop.org) and praying.  I’m just mad.  I’m mad that when I pray the words are just repeats of what I’ve heard other people pray.  I’m mad that I have to force myself to pray and be in the presence of God and that lots of days I’d rather watch “Say Yes to the Dress” instead of read my Bible.  Thinking back, I’ve never pressed into the presence of God and been disappointed, yet I sometimes think that watching rich girls buy dresses that I’ll never get to see in real life is more exciting and fulfilling than intimacy with God.

And I’m not bashing TV (well not all of it), but most times when I’m watching a show or movie, more than once I catch myself comparing my body, face, hair, etc. to whatever “perfect” girl is on the program.  And as I was praying, I just really let myself feel.  And sometimes I think I just go through days even without feeling what’s going on in me.  And what I felt was just extreme disappointment in myself.  I have fat rolls, flabby arms, flawed skin, and I just do NOT look like the “ideal” girl.  The other day I woke up, looked in the bathroom mirror, and I could have sworn I had inhabited a rooster’s head during the night.  My hair was all sticking up in incredibly unnatural directions.  Basically I’m just super weird, but I’m not going to get into details because this is the “world-wide web” and all. 

Relating back to the first full paragraph, I just went to God sincerely and told him how unhappy I am with myself.  Most times before I had done the whole “Lord, I know You made me in Your image and I am beautiful in Your eyes.  Help me to see my worth and value in You instead of based on what the world defines as beauty.”  However, I’m a resident of this world for now and as an imperfect human, I am sometimes influenced by it.  It’s hard to just not be good enough no matter whose standards you are trying to live up to.  And maybe that previous prayer just wasn’t sincere.  And it was fabricated.  And God knew it.  And who wants to have a conversation with someone with whom they’re enthralled when that person isn’t even being sincere and real?  So maybe this is a starting point.  Maybe going to God with my actual thoughts, feellings, emotions, hurts, praises, ideas, love, and admiration will be the catalyst for change instead of re iterating  what I’ve heard all the church people pray.